Ben's Birth Story

This is the story of how my precious Ben was born.

 

 

 

 

 

Friday, April 11^th: My mother in law and I ventured to the midwife's office for my almost 39 week appointment. I felt huge, awkward, and terribly uncomfortable. The baby felt very low and I felt a lot of pressure. All was well with me and the baby, so we started back home. On the way, contractions started that were more uncomfortable than they had been before and pressure intensified. I felt like something was changing. After dropping my mother in law off, I insisted that we had to go to the store for last minute supplies once my husband got home. It was a miserably uncomfortable shopping trip, so we hurried home thinking this might be it! I had been having bloody show for a day or two already, inconsistent contractions... Sadly, once I got home, everything came to a halt. I went to bed disappointed but was so exhausted I fell into a deep sleep.
Saturday morning, April 12^th @ 5:34 am: I woke up suddenly and looked at the alarm clock. I was shocked that it was after 5:30 and shook Mike awake yelling that he was late for work and I'd forgotten to set the alarm!!!!! He jerked upright in the bed and sat there for a moment before laughing and telling me it was Saturday. OOPS. ;)

We snuggled back into bed to enjoy the quiet of the house before the kids woke up, and dozed a bit as we discussed the day's plans. I was terribly sad that I had not been awakened by a single contraction or anything during the night. It was a very restful night! We talked about going to the flea market and walking to see if we could get something going. As we were dozing back off, I felt a trickle down the back of my thigh. Was I peeing on myself now too?! I grumpily sat up and tried to stand to go to the bathroom. I was shocked at the pressure I felt when I stood, and was afraid I might not make it to the bathroom! I shuffled there and thankfully made it to the toilet, but before I could even sit down all the way I heard a giant gush and splash. My water had broken! Or had it? I wondered if I was imagining things?! I cleaned up myself and the toilet and went to wake Mike to check the bed and confirm my suspicions. We crawled back into bed to rest a bit, and texted my mother in law so she would know something was up. Contractions started right away, less than 10 minutes apart. I got up and helped the kids get breakfast and tidied up the house a little since I knew my mother in law and sister in law were on their way to help with the kids for the day. I thought if I got up and moved around and cleaned, it might speed things up. For me though, it seemed to slow things down? I was disappointed again. The contractions spaced out farther.

I texted my midwife, Rosie, to let her know my water had broken. She said to keep her posted. We all busied ourselves preparing the bedroom. Moving the bed to make room for the birth pool, putting clean sheets on the bed with plastic beneath to protect the mattress, pulling out the supplies we had gathered and the birth kit. I did laundry and washed bedding. My mother called to check on me. She didn't know I was planning a homebirth, and was shocked when I told her my water had broken and I did not plan to go to the hospital. I knew it would have worried her to know I was planning to have Ben at home!

Then, determined to move labor along, I suggested we take the kids outside to clean up the yard and play since it was such a beautiful sunny day. I picked sticks up in the yard, watched the kids play, and sat on my exercise ball. Contractions were still not consistent. Our neighbor wandered over to chat, and when Mike told him we were waiting for baby and my water had broken that morning, he looked petrified and asked “Why aren't you at the hospital??”

The day continued in a similar fashion. Rosie suggested time on hands and knees, or doing lunges, to try and move things along. I tried that repeatedly with some success but the sporadic contractions continued. As dinner time came, I was exhausted and sad. It seemed my body would not cooperate!! I decided I would rest and take a nap since things seemed to be going to last well into the night.

I didn't sleep long, less than an hour I think. Contractions began to get stronger and closer together. I was excited that I could actually time them but afraid to hope at the same time! I rested and labored in bed, on the exercise ball, wandering the house a bit. I found that the quiet darkness of the bedroom was the most soothing place to be, so I stayed there for the most part. The little kids went to bed. Then the bigger kids. They came in to give me hugs and kisses and my oldest daughter was terribly worried about me. She watched me during a contraction that by then were pretty intense, and I tried to reassure her that I was ok.

After they went to bed, I think my body felt it could relax and do what needed done. Contractions picked up, got stronger. Eventually Mike suggested we call Rosie. He talked to her, then handed the phone to me. She didn't seem convinced it was time for her to come. We waited awhile, called back at an appointed time. By this time, I was moaning through contractions and could barely talk. She asked me to call back in 15 minutes so I did and she said she would come but it would be an hour. AN HOUR???? I felt like it couldn't possibly go on that long!!!

Having been stuck in bed for so many labors, I really thought I wanted to be able to walk and move. I found that I could barely walk, and so I ended up resting on my side on the bed for the majority of the time after that. It felt like an eternity until Rosie and her midwife-in-training Colleen showed up. I lost track of time. I stopped timing contractions altogether and just rode the waves as they came. I felt out of control. I could hear myself moaning, felt like I was making a lot of noise. They checked my blood pressure and talked to me for a few minutes while everyone else set up the pool in the living room where we had decided there would be more room. It was taking forever for the pool to be filled and warm enough for me to get in. My back was killing me with every contraction. Someone pressed their hand against my lower back and it felt so wonderful. My hips felt like they were being torn apart. I could feel the baby moving down the birth canal a bit, then a strange sensation I didn't remember feeling with any of the others. It felt like a tickly, wiggly sensation?? I couldn't really describe it. Shortly after, I began to shake uncontrollably. Nausea soon followed and I asked for a bucket and promptly vomited. I felt like I was puking over and over, but I'm not sure if that was just my perception, because I intensely dislike throwing up!! Rosie suggested I sit on the toilet and I tried but it was torture. Finally the pool was ready. I was so very tired. I was dozing off between contractions, which apparently were slowing down some. I was warned that if they slowed down more after getting in the pool I would have to get out.

I somehow walked down the hall with Mike's help to the living room. The pool was so tall I could barely get in. Mike helped me in and helped me put on my bikini top. I sank down in the blessedly warm water. It felt so soothing and calming. Contractions picked up again. I remember kneeling, sitting, trying to find a good position... I finally ended up holding onto the handles and sort of floating... as things got very intense, I pushed my feet against the opposite side of the pool at times. The pressure and pain was crazy! I didn't know if I should push or not. I kept telling myself “I can do this”... “It's almost over”... I knew I had been through transition and the end was near. Finally Rosie asked me if I was pushing or just letting my body do its thing? I told her a little of both... She told me it was OK to push if I wanted. I wondered if they could see anything?? but couldn't really speak to ask... With the next contraction I pushed with all my might... Finally several pushes later (not sure how many, or how many contractions it lasted through) I could feel him crowning, that “ring of fire” people talk about?? I was terrified of the intense pain but I pushed harder. I remember screaming, unable to contain myself, calling out to God though I wasn't sure what I was praying for. They told me to go slow, and I tried very hard because I didn't want to tear. Then I pushed his shoulders and body out and the relief was instant and amazing. They brought him up to my chest and covered him in a towel. Then they told me he had come out with his hand up next to his head, which was why it was so very painful at the end. I was so relieved it was over! He was beautiful. Thick dark hair, and he pinked up nicely once he took a few breaths. I talked to him and snuggled him and cried a little. I looked up at Mike and told him, “I did it!!”... I loved on my new little boy and nursed him for the first time while we waited for the cord to stop pulsing. Once it did, I delivered the placenta and Mike cut the cord. It was so very peaceful! No rushing, no one trying to run off with the baby to do x, y, and z. Then Nana got to hold Ben while Mike helped me out of the tub. I was so shaky! We wrapped up in towels and made our way to the bedroom. Ben was given back to me for skin to skin time and we were covered in warm blankets. We nursed, and my mother in law and sister in law made me something to eat. I got to take a shower, rest, eat, drink, and snuggle with my new baby and my husband. Everything was perfect, I had no excessive bleeding, and no tears even with his creative presentation :)

Benjamin Oscar was born 4/13/14 at 3:02 am. He weighed 9 lb 2oz and was 21” long. I feel so blessed to have had this experience! I truly feel that is has been a healing one. I have such a feeling of peace about Ben's birth, and I will always treasure this beautiful memory.

Why I chose a home birth...

I was recently asked to tell my birth story of my 8^th child. I decided to come back to my blog (man, it has been awhile!!) and do just that. First, I think it is important to understand my reasons for choosing to birth at home.

Of my 7 other children, all were born in the hospital, 6 induced, and none followed the “birth plan” that I truly wanted. My first pregnancy I was diagnosed with hypertension and took meds all the way through my pregnancy and for safety reasons, I was assured it was best to induce before my due date. Despite wanting a natural labor and delivery, I agreed. Of course, interventions galore ensued... Pitocin, breaking my water, external monitor, internal monitor, iv pain meds, epidural, benedryl for epidural-induced itching, and finally the vacuum as she was posterior and I was totally numb and couldn't push effectively. I was young and didn't know any better, didn't know I had choices. My second labor started on its own, but I unknowingly went in too early and it ended up the same way. Pitocin to augment labor, iv meds, epi. With my third, my OB told me to “pick a day”... not for any medical reason, just because. So I did? Cytotec (dangerous!!) to start labor, pitocin, epi... #4??? Same thing, BP rose a bit so induction it is – pitocin, epi that only worked on one side. With #5 I had done more research and I was determined to have a natural (preferably water) birth with a midwife. I found a CNM who was awesome and listened to my disappointments and fears... Then lo and behold at 38 weeks my bp crept up as usual. It stayed there so I was induced. Again. On the positive side, I did not get the epi with that birth, making it a totally different experience!! Still in the hospital, tied to the bed and constantly monitored and interfered with, and no chance of water birth due to my high risk status then. I went to the same hospital and different midwives with #6. He was my legitimate medical delivery due to pre-eclampsia. With #7 I found a “natural minded” and large family friendly OB closer to home. All was well (though he had no confidence in my body's ability to go through pregnancy without bp issues) until 37 weeks when the baby was discovered to be breech. I was given two options: External version to turn her, or schedule a c-section. I took the first option, but went to extreme measures at home attempting to turn her myself, and it worked! But my bp went up at the hospital when I went for the ultrasound to check her position before they attempted the version. 3 days of laying in the hospital later, 2 days of labor after painful induction, she was miraculously born vaginally. How I didn't end up with a C-section I'll never know, other than the grace of God.

Following so many inductions, and disappointments at not being able and allowed to have the natural birth I so wanted, I was terrified to have another baby that way.

I soon found out I was expecting #8. I couldn't bear the thought of returning to the OB, or to the midwives I had seen before who didn't seem to encourage natural birth methods any more than an OB. I knew I wanted a homebirth, although it was a scary step to take, doing something different from society's normal procedures. I researched laws, birth stories, midwives in my area, and asked people for recommendations. I interviewed several home birth midwives, both via phone and in person, until I found one who put me so at ease... She was confident that my body could do it, that we could have a normal, natural childbirth. She gave me such hope!!!

I actually didn't tell very many people I was planning a homebirth. Even family, as the opinions of most of them weren't positive and I wanted to keep positive thoughts only!!

My pregnancy was uneventful. I monitored my blood pressure at home where I was comfortable and not affected by the stresses of doctors, nurses, hospitals, etc... and it stayed within a reasonable range! I visited my midwife for the usual course of prenatal visits, but without the usual course of intrusive tests and monitoring. My stress level over my pregnancy was noticeably lower than my previous pregnancies. Even my mother in law took notice!! I continued to remind myself that God had made my body to do this work, and He had blessed me with this precious life to nurture and care for, and He would be with me through it all.

<to be continued with the story of Ben's birth!>