Ben's Birth Story

This is the story of how my precious Ben was born.

 

 

 

 

 

Friday, April 11^th: My mother in law and I ventured to the midwife's office for my almost 39 week appointment. I felt huge, awkward, and terribly uncomfortable. The baby felt very low and I felt a lot of pressure. All was well with me and the baby, so we started back home. On the way, contractions started that were more uncomfortable than they had been before and pressure intensified. I felt like something was changing. After dropping my mother in law off, I insisted that we had to go to the store for last minute supplies once my husband got home. It was a miserably uncomfortable shopping trip, so we hurried home thinking this might be it! I had been having bloody show for a day or two already, inconsistent contractions... Sadly, once I got home, everything came to a halt. I went to bed disappointed but was so exhausted I fell into a deep sleep.
Saturday morning, April 12^th @ 5:34 am: I woke up suddenly and looked at the alarm clock. I was shocked that it was after 5:30 and shook Mike awake yelling that he was late for work and I'd forgotten to set the alarm!!!!! He jerked upright in the bed and sat there for a moment before laughing and telling me it was Saturday. OOPS. ;)

We snuggled back into bed to enjoy the quiet of the house before the kids woke up, and dozed a bit as we discussed the day's plans. I was terribly sad that I had not been awakened by a single contraction or anything during the night. It was a very restful night! We talked about going to the flea market and walking to see if we could get something going. As we were dozing back off, I felt a trickle down the back of my thigh. Was I peeing on myself now too?! I grumpily sat up and tried to stand to go to the bathroom. I was shocked at the pressure I felt when I stood, and was afraid I might not make it to the bathroom! I shuffled there and thankfully made it to the toilet, but before I could even sit down all the way I heard a giant gush and splash. My water had broken! Or had it? I wondered if I was imagining things?! I cleaned up myself and the toilet and went to wake Mike to check the bed and confirm my suspicions. We crawled back into bed to rest a bit, and texted my mother in law so she would know something was up. Contractions started right away, less than 10 minutes apart. I got up and helped the kids get breakfast and tidied up the house a little since I knew my mother in law and sister in law were on their way to help with the kids for the day. I thought if I got up and moved around and cleaned, it might speed things up. For me though, it seemed to slow things down? I was disappointed again. The contractions spaced out farther.

I texted my midwife, Rosie, to let her know my water had broken. She said to keep her posted. We all busied ourselves preparing the bedroom. Moving the bed to make room for the birth pool, putting clean sheets on the bed with plastic beneath to protect the mattress, pulling out the supplies we had gathered and the birth kit. I did laundry and washed bedding. My mother called to check on me. She didn't know I was planning a homebirth, and was shocked when I told her my water had broken and I did not plan to go to the hospital. I knew it would have worried her to know I was planning to have Ben at home!

Then, determined to move labor along, I suggested we take the kids outside to clean up the yard and play since it was such a beautiful sunny day. I picked sticks up in the yard, watched the kids play, and sat on my exercise ball. Contractions were still not consistent. Our neighbor wandered over to chat, and when Mike told him we were waiting for baby and my water had broken that morning, he looked petrified and asked “Why aren't you at the hospital??”

The day continued in a similar fashion. Rosie suggested time on hands and knees, or doing lunges, to try and move things along. I tried that repeatedly with some success but the sporadic contractions continued. As dinner time came, I was exhausted and sad. It seemed my body would not cooperate!! I decided I would rest and take a nap since things seemed to be going to last well into the night.

I didn't sleep long, less than an hour I think. Contractions began to get stronger and closer together. I was excited that I could actually time them but afraid to hope at the same time! I rested and labored in bed, on the exercise ball, wandering the house a bit. I found that the quiet darkness of the bedroom was the most soothing place to be, so I stayed there for the most part. The little kids went to bed. Then the bigger kids. They came in to give me hugs and kisses and my oldest daughter was terribly worried about me. She watched me during a contraction that by then were pretty intense, and I tried to reassure her that I was ok.

After they went to bed, I think my body felt it could relax and do what needed done. Contractions picked up, got stronger. Eventually Mike suggested we call Rosie. He talked to her, then handed the phone to me. She didn't seem convinced it was time for her to come. We waited awhile, called back at an appointed time. By this time, I was moaning through contractions and could barely talk. She asked me to call back in 15 minutes so I did and she said she would come but it would be an hour. AN HOUR???? I felt like it couldn't possibly go on that long!!!

Having been stuck in bed for so many labors, I really thought I wanted to be able to walk and move. I found that I could barely walk, and so I ended up resting on my side on the bed for the majority of the time after that. It felt like an eternity until Rosie and her midwife-in-training Colleen showed up. I lost track of time. I stopped timing contractions altogether and just rode the waves as they came. I felt out of control. I could hear myself moaning, felt like I was making a lot of noise. They checked my blood pressure and talked to me for a few minutes while everyone else set up the pool in the living room where we had decided there would be more room. It was taking forever for the pool to be filled and warm enough for me to get in. My back was killing me with every contraction. Someone pressed their hand against my lower back and it felt so wonderful. My hips felt like they were being torn apart. I could feel the baby moving down the birth canal a bit, then a strange sensation I didn't remember feeling with any of the others. It felt like a tickly, wiggly sensation?? I couldn't really describe it. Shortly after, I began to shake uncontrollably. Nausea soon followed and I asked for a bucket and promptly vomited. I felt like I was puking over and over, but I'm not sure if that was just my perception, because I intensely dislike throwing up!! Rosie suggested I sit on the toilet and I tried but it was torture. Finally the pool was ready. I was so very tired. I was dozing off between contractions, which apparently were slowing down some. I was warned that if they slowed down more after getting in the pool I would have to get out.

I somehow walked down the hall with Mike's help to the living room. The pool was so tall I could barely get in. Mike helped me in and helped me put on my bikini top. I sank down in the blessedly warm water. It felt so soothing and calming. Contractions picked up again. I remember kneeling, sitting, trying to find a good position... I finally ended up holding onto the handles and sort of floating... as things got very intense, I pushed my feet against the opposite side of the pool at times. The pressure and pain was crazy! I didn't know if I should push or not. I kept telling myself “I can do this”... “It's almost over”... I knew I had been through transition and the end was near. Finally Rosie asked me if I was pushing or just letting my body do its thing? I told her a little of both... She told me it was OK to push if I wanted. I wondered if they could see anything?? but couldn't really speak to ask... With the next contraction I pushed with all my might... Finally several pushes later (not sure how many, or how many contractions it lasted through) I could feel him crowning, that “ring of fire” people talk about?? I was terrified of the intense pain but I pushed harder. I remember screaming, unable to contain myself, calling out to God though I wasn't sure what I was praying for. They told me to go slow, and I tried very hard because I didn't want to tear. Then I pushed his shoulders and body out and the relief was instant and amazing. They brought him up to my chest and covered him in a towel. Then they told me he had come out with his hand up next to his head, which was why it was so very painful at the end. I was so relieved it was over! He was beautiful. Thick dark hair, and he pinked up nicely once he took a few breaths. I talked to him and snuggled him and cried a little. I looked up at Mike and told him, “I did it!!”... I loved on my new little boy and nursed him for the first time while we waited for the cord to stop pulsing. Once it did, I delivered the placenta and Mike cut the cord. It was so very peaceful! No rushing, no one trying to run off with the baby to do x, y, and z. Then Nana got to hold Ben while Mike helped me out of the tub. I was so shaky! We wrapped up in towels and made our way to the bedroom. Ben was given back to me for skin to skin time and we were covered in warm blankets. We nursed, and my mother in law and sister in law made me something to eat. I got to take a shower, rest, eat, drink, and snuggle with my new baby and my husband. Everything was perfect, I had no excessive bleeding, and no tears even with his creative presentation :)

Benjamin Oscar was born 4/13/14 at 3:02 am. He weighed 9 lb 2oz and was 21” long. I feel so blessed to have had this experience! I truly feel that is has been a healing one. I have such a feeling of peace about Ben's birth, and I will always treasure this beautiful memory.

Why I chose a home birth...

I was recently asked to tell my birth story of my 8^th child. I decided to come back to my blog (man, it has been awhile!!) and do just that. First, I think it is important to understand my reasons for choosing to birth at home.

Of my 7 other children, all were born in the hospital, 6 induced, and none followed the “birth plan” that I truly wanted. My first pregnancy I was diagnosed with hypertension and took meds all the way through my pregnancy and for safety reasons, I was assured it was best to induce before my due date. Despite wanting a natural labor and delivery, I agreed. Of course, interventions galore ensued... Pitocin, breaking my water, external monitor, internal monitor, iv pain meds, epidural, benedryl for epidural-induced itching, and finally the vacuum as she was posterior and I was totally numb and couldn't push effectively. I was young and didn't know any better, didn't know I had choices. My second labor started on its own, but I unknowingly went in too early and it ended up the same way. Pitocin to augment labor, iv meds, epi. With my third, my OB told me to “pick a day”... not for any medical reason, just because. So I did? Cytotec (dangerous!!) to start labor, pitocin, epi... #4??? Same thing, BP rose a bit so induction it is – pitocin, epi that only worked on one side. With #5 I had done more research and I was determined to have a natural (preferably water) birth with a midwife. I found a CNM who was awesome and listened to my disappointments and fears... Then lo and behold at 38 weeks my bp crept up as usual. It stayed there so I was induced. Again. On the positive side, I did not get the epi with that birth, making it a totally different experience!! Still in the hospital, tied to the bed and constantly monitored and interfered with, and no chance of water birth due to my high risk status then. I went to the same hospital and different midwives with #6. He was my legitimate medical delivery due to pre-eclampsia. With #7 I found a “natural minded” and large family friendly OB closer to home. All was well (though he had no confidence in my body's ability to go through pregnancy without bp issues) until 37 weeks when the baby was discovered to be breech. I was given two options: External version to turn her, or schedule a c-section. I took the first option, but went to extreme measures at home attempting to turn her myself, and it worked! But my bp went up at the hospital when I went for the ultrasound to check her position before they attempted the version. 3 days of laying in the hospital later, 2 days of labor after painful induction, she was miraculously born vaginally. How I didn't end up with a C-section I'll never know, other than the grace of God.

Following so many inductions, and disappointments at not being able and allowed to have the natural birth I so wanted, I was terrified to have another baby that way.

I soon found out I was expecting #8. I couldn't bear the thought of returning to the OB, or to the midwives I had seen before who didn't seem to encourage natural birth methods any more than an OB. I knew I wanted a homebirth, although it was a scary step to take, doing something different from society's normal procedures. I researched laws, birth stories, midwives in my area, and asked people for recommendations. I interviewed several home birth midwives, both via phone and in person, until I found one who put me so at ease... She was confident that my body could do it, that we could have a normal, natural childbirth. She gave me such hope!!!

I actually didn't tell very many people I was planning a homebirth. Even family, as the opinions of most of them weren't positive and I wanted to keep positive thoughts only!!

My pregnancy was uneventful. I monitored my blood pressure at home where I was comfortable and not affected by the stresses of doctors, nurses, hospitals, etc... and it stayed within a reasonable range! I visited my midwife for the usual course of prenatal visits, but without the usual course of intrusive tests and monitoring. My stress level over my pregnancy was noticeably lower than my previous pregnancies. Even my mother in law took notice!! I continued to remind myself that God had made my body to do this work, and He had blessed me with this precious life to nurture and care for, and He would be with me through it all.

<to be continued with the story of Ben's birth!>

Adventures in Laundry... aka the Family Closet

Have you missed me? Yes, it has been over a month since my last blog post. Life got a bit crazy and I fell behind a bit... but that's another story for later. :)

So I thought I would start back with a previously mentioned idea - the family closet. I admit, I had never heard of this until I saw it on a tv show about a family with a lot of kids, even more than me!! (now what WAS their name???) I was quite intrigued, and when we finally bought our own house, I told my husband that the sun room/enclosed porch was going to serve double duty as our family closet. Yes, this did get me some strange looks, but hey, I'm used to that by now!!

To start, I did some internet research and looked at pictures and descriptions of how other families had built their family closets and decided what we needed to fit our needs. We purchased 4 standing clothing racks and arranged them against the wall, hoping that would make them a bit more stable. Since our closet is in the sun room and is composed of so many windows, attaching shelves and rods to the wall wasn't really an option. Next, a trip to the dollar store for some various colored bins to hold small items, and of course buying some extra hangers! When we left our rental house, we gave away all of our dressers but one (which I kept to use as a changing table/cloth diaper storage)and haven't looked back!!

For now, my oldest two girls share a rack with shirts and dresses hanging on the top, pants and skirts on the bottom. This is because so much of their clothing is shared since they are similar in size. The other children have one rack each that holds tops, bottoms, dresses, etc. Each child has two bins. One holds underwear, the other socks. Pajamas are folded on a shelf next to the hanging clothing.

So, the real question is, did it work? I am going to call it a success. Yes, I still get behind putting laundry away, but then who doesn't? :) It is much easier to put everything away in one location rather than sorting/folding/hanging in several different rooms, and thankfully the sun room is located just off the utility/laundry room so the laundry doesn't have to go far to be put away!

I asked the girls the other day while we were hanging up laundry if they liked the new family closet and it got the thumbs up!! They told me it makes it so much easier to see their clothes and pick out what they want to wear. :) Easier for me, easier for them. Mission Accomplished!!!

A big birthday, and mysterious ways...

I have always heard that the Lord works in mysterious ways...

Today, my oldest son turned 5. What a milestone! Kindergarten in the fall... off to the REAL school ;) This morning he asked, "Mommy, am I 5 now?" I told him he was... he showed me his muscle and replied, "Then I am strong!"

Monday birthday celebrations are tough though, so we celebrated on Saturday instead.  My husband had to work, so my mother came in the morning and brought Pop Tarts for breakfast for all the kids, and a birthday gift for David: Real skates just like his sisters have!

After Daddy returned from work, David opened our presents: Some new t-shirts,  play-dough sets and a box of real big-kid Legos :)

Then we took a trip to see Daddy's grandmother, affectionately known as Granny Jane, in the nursing home.  Last month we went with some other family and she shared some of her leftovers from the memorial day cookout with David, so it seemed only fair that he would return to share some of his birthday cake with her! She even helped him blow out the candle!

After leaving the nursing home, we went to the park where the kids played on the playground and we took a fun family walk through the woods together, enjoying nature and all the beautiful sights and sounds!!

For dinner, a trip to Sam's Club. Yes, you heard right. They have DELICIOUS pizza, huge slices, for a great price. It is a huge bargain for a treat for a larger family!!

WHERE IS THE MYSTERY IN THIS?

A few weeks ago we learned that Granny Jane had stage 4 lung cancer and no treatments could be done.  She asked my mother-in-law if her "little buddy" would be coming back to see her, so of course we had to go, and thought she might enjoy sharing a small piece of cake with him. She seemed tired, but was sitting up in her wheelchair, talking with everyone, arguing with them in her usual way. LOL 

The next morning, Granny Jane passed away.  To be honest, we almost didn't go, as the trip took extra gas that we hadn't budgeted for... but now we are so glad we did. Always appreciate your loved ones while they are here, for none of us are promised tomorrow...

I wonder how I do it too!

I hear this all the time. "I don't know HOW you do it, especially with ALL THOSE kids!"  It seems to amaze people that we can all be fed, clothed and live in a semi-clean house. LOL I have heard, "You must be a super mom." and "I can barely manage with one (or two or three)". 

To tell the truth, I don't feel like I am that great at any of it! It must be part of my personality, the perfectionist in me, but to me there are not enough hours in the day or enough energy in my body to accomplish all that needs done.  My garage, for example, is wall to wall boxes still, and we moved in April! It looks like something you'd see in an episode of Hoarders!! No matter how many times I would vacuum, there will still be crumbs, dog hair, and bits of guinea pig food and bedding scattered all over my living room, along with an array of socks, shoes, kids artwork, and toys. I am forever behind on laundry, and sometimes the kids run out of socks (see above sentence to find missing socks!) and I run out of skirts and shirts at least once a week and spend the day doing chores in my pajamas while I wash them. LOL!

Most of the time, I feel truly inadequate and overwhelmed with the number of responsibilities that face me. So, if you are looking to read the blog of Super Mom who will tell you how to keep your kitchen floor spotless, clean your baseboards with a q-tip, or organize your sock drawer by color, you should probably keep looking!!

This is life here:

So when I start to feel overwhelmed, I take a breath and remind myself how far I have come. When I got married and moved out, I didn't know how to cook - not even spaghetti or mashed potatoes! Now I am confident in taking a recipe and giving it a shot - I have even tackled one of my biggest fears, yeast!! I don't remember changing a diaper before I had kids. Now I could do it with my eyes closed, and use and wash cloth diapers too!  Life is a journey, and I am continuing to learn something new every day. Kids will do that for you ;) As I learn and find better ways to do things, I will share with you my hard-found wisdom! LOL Stay tuned for posts on cloth diapering and my family closet!!

Trip to the Pagoda...

I remember when my girls would ask for a trip to the park, or maybe to order pizza as a reward for their hard work in school. It seems those days are no more... They brought home their first report cards from their new school at the end of the school year with awesome grades yet again. I am so proud of them. They work so very hard and it definitely shows!!

As I was beaming over their wonderful marks, I commented that they definitely deserve a reward for their hard work. (Not that I don't expect them to get decent grades, mind you, but they all excel and I believe hard work and accomplishment deserves praise!!)

So, what, you are wondering, did they beg for as a reward? PIERCING. No, no, not THOSE kinds of piercings. Thank goodness we aren't into tongues/eyebrows/noses/tongues and such yet... lol.  So, off to the Piercing Pagoda we went...

Libby the Brave went first. She told me she was going to be brave after she wanted her ears pierced for her 6th birthday and then backed out at the last minute! She totally proved her words to be true, though, and she stepped right up to be first in line!!

She picked these adorable little crosses for her first earrings!! <3

Maddie and McKaelyn already have their ears pierced once, so they asked for a second piercing, and being the awesome cool mom I am I said yes. ;) Well, I have 2, so how could I say no? lol

Maddie went next!!

Purple titanium for her!

McKaelyn went last, and boy did she look nervous!

Silver stainless for Miss Mac!

The girls are so happy with their pretty new earrings, and are being so responsible in helping to clean and turn them daily :) I am glad to have a reason to give them such a treat, and I hope they continue to be encouraged to work hard and never settle for less than their best!!

They also reminded me that their midterm treat never happened because of the move and my hugely pregnant state. Oh my!

How My Blog Got Its Name

June 14, 2012

Any parent of more than the usual 2.5 children has surely heard the millions of oh-so-creative comments people utter when they count your brood several times as if in disbelief...

• Are they all yours?
• Are any of them twins?
• Don't you know what causes that?
• Don't you own a tv?
• Are you DONE yet?
• Are you trying to catch up to the Duggars?
• Are you Catholic/Mormon/ETC...?
• When are you going to get fixed?
• You MUST be crazy...
• Better you than me...

Then there is the old stand-by comment: You really have your hands full!! 

Now, I had been trying to think of a good name for my blog for a couple of days, and nothing quite seemed right... Thank goodness I ran out of bread and peanut butter!! This meant we were forced to take a trip to the grocery store.  So we packed up our big van and headed to Aldi.  Now, for those who have never been to an Aldi, they keep their carts outside the store and you put a quarter in a slot to release a cart, then get the quarter back when you replace the cart. Picture a woman carrying a baby in an infant seat, with a 9 year old girl pushing a 2 year old girl in an umbrella stroller, with 8 and 6 year old girls and 4 year old boy in tow, on our way to get a cart... I had my quarter in my hand (It always pays to be prepared!) and there were very few carts in the lanes, we were going to have to walk way toward the end. A gentleman, maybe in his 70's, is about to return his cart, but seeing me and the kids, he turned it around and brought it back to me. How kind and appreciated!! I offered him my quarter in exchange, but he refused to take it, saying, "You look like you have your hands full!"  I replied, "Yes, some days I do!" lol... He turned to walk away, muttering "I don't know how you women do it..."

This sweet man gave me a nice giggle on my way into the store, and Life With My Hands Full was born :) Yes, I suppose I do have my hands full, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!!